“I need to be more successful; pretty; slim; intelligent; rich; etc…” “I’m not enough…”
Does this type of interior monologue seem familiar to you? I assure you it’s totally normal, you aren’t the only one and you can change it. You just need to understand the why, the when and the who. Understand it, believe it and put the how into action.
Why do you feel you need to be more?
Is your life not how you’d like it to be? Is someone telling you insistently that you aren’t enough? Are you trying to achieve something unsuccessfully ?
That feeling of inferiority can come from within or from external sources. Understand what is the cause of your “not enoughness”. Who are you with or where are you when that feeling comes? Do you feel enough or not when you are by yourself?
When have you started feeling not good enough?
At a certain point in our lives, we all start thinking that we are not enough. Not enough to get that awesome job; that great partner; the good things in life… Eventually we start thinking we are none deserving of that success, that lifestyle, that love…
But that couldn’t be furthest from the truth! Think about the last time a friend told you that he/she didn’t feel good enough? What did you tell him/her? Why aren’t you telling that to yourself when YOU feel not enough?
Self-confidence is one of the first things we lose when we start to grow up. Even when we still have our baby teeth, we are already starting to lose confidence.
Our teachers, parents and society in general keep telling us: “You need to work harder” “You need to be more…” “You need to be less…” “Why can’t you just do it?!”
Is from external sources that we start to feel inferior. With time, we start doing it to ourselves and that is the most dangerous stage of the issue.
Who told you you’re not enough?
And why haven’t you kicked them out of your life yet?
It can be a family member who wants the best for you. Sometimes is your boss who doesn’t know how to lead correctly. There are even some group of “so called friends” who do it. Regardless, you are the average of who you spend your time with. When you hear a lie a thousand times, you will start seeing it as reality.
Make sure you are surrounded by the people who make you feel more than enough. Those who never put into question what you can or deserve out of life.
How can you become enough? Is that even possible?
Being enough by society’s standards is not the problem . It’s both impossible, because it’s an ever changing standard, and irrelevant. The problem is when you don’t fell good enough for yourself.
You are deserving of everything you believe you are. You are capable of more than you can imagine. Nothing is out of reach if you want it, believe it and work towards it.
The only people who you should compare yourself with is the you of yesterday and the you of tomorrow. Compare yourself with the past to see how you have grown and evolved. Visualize yourself in the future so you know what you need to become it.
Are you going to be the person others make you, or the person you want to be? Start by believing in who you are right now!